Many of us are so identified with the voice in our head (our ego) and the incessant stream of involuntary and compulsive thinking and emotions, that the voice of our Self is almost completely drowned out.
You think that you are the thinker, but the thinking is your ego which is conditioned by your past, your upbringing, your culture, and your family background. The ego gives you repetitive and persistent thoughts, emotions, and reactive patterns that you identify with as “me and my story”. It gives you habitual roles that you perform without knowing it, and collective identities such as nationality, religion, race, social class, job, or political allegiance. It also carries beliefs about appearance, concepts of success and failure, and what you are good or bad at.
When you live day-to-day through the mind-made ego comprised of thought and emotion, your identity base is precarious because thoughts and emotions are so fleeting. Every ego is continuously struggling for survival, trying to protect and enlarge itself. The ego “I”
survive without the conceptual “other”.
People who live in their ego-mind struggle to be alone.
One egoic pattern is the compulsive habit of fault-finding and complaining about others. The ego thinks that when it criticises another it will feel bigger and superior. It is one of the ego’s favourite strategies for strengthening itself. Every complaint is a little story your mind makes up that you completely believe in. It is habitual and unconscious. This is not the sort of complaining, say, in a restaurant when your soup is cold. The ego, though, is the one who loves to feel personally offended by the cold soup and is going to make the most of it. The ego enjoys making someone wrong. The ego often doesn’t want change so that it can go on complaining.
So how do you become more conscious? See if you can notice the voice in your head, perhaps in the very moment, it complains about something or someone, and recognise it for what it is: the voice of the ego, a conditioned mind-pattern, a thought. And whenever you notice that voice, you will realise that you are not the voice, but the one who is aware of it: the Self.